Muffin Top

I don’t care how so-and-so pop factor lost their baby weight, I don’t ‘like’ that your baby is 7 seconds old and you’re ‘#back into size 8’s woo hoo!’ Nope, My baby is nine months im still in my maternity get up. I’ve not been ‘back in my size 8’s’ since I was 8…….

Wanna feel better about those extra lbs?

Here are 10 ‘Slummy Mummy’ non-diet tips

  1. Bake (or buy) some muffins of your own and feed them to the other half: Growing together is very important in relationships
  2. Feed them also to your friends….. Do you see where I’m going with this one??
  3. Wear bright Florals (that way everyone will remember you as the lady in the silly dress)
  4. Wear black (no one will comment on your weight, you’re clearly grieving)

    Muffin top!!…..actually that looks quite yummy

  5. Tell everyone you’re a slimming world champion…. You used to be 45 stone
  6. Google pictures of women who ARE 45 stone (don’t you feel better now)
  7. Draw funny faces on your belly to entertain the kids ‘It’s the jelly monster’
  8. Throw out the full length mirror: You’ll look so much smaller in a compact from 10 metres away
  9. Wear a step-o-metre: those bad boys pick up every gesture…. One round of ‘if you’re happy and you know it’ and you’ll have run a marathon
  10. Put a picture of you in labour on the fridge: that way every time you reach for a snack you can think ‘I bloody well deserve this’
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2 thoughts on “Muffin Top

  1. Pingback: Scans and Belly Jiggles | Confessions of a 'Slummy Mummy'

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