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Me Time

This evening something very strange happened, I found myself downstairs, after work and alone!!!

The living room was tidy (well there were neatish piles of stuff in various corners) all three children were asleep and the husband, having been off work with man flu all day, was tucked up in bed. Bless him (we’d had the it’s not flu you managed to eat your dinner and spend twenty mins looking for your glasses, argument earlier in the day)

It was 10pm and an erie hush had fallen over the house, the only sound I could hear was the beeping of the dishwasher signifying the end of its cycle, and I was trying my upmost to block that out. Being alone like this is unheard of for me! Sure, I get child free time when I swap over to my work hat, but it just doesn’t count. I say hat, actually today I had put my hair up with a pen while at the computer, it was the only thing within reach which wouldn’t require me to sneak out of the room…. Believe me, when the office door opens, the children descend, it’s best to remain at the screen… This pen had now leaked and so, the first thirteen mins of my newly acquired me time were spent washing my hands, then scrubbing the sofa, where I had discarded said pen,

Who needs a spa day eh?

But what next?! I considered a cupa, because that seems the obligatory thing to do right? Maybe I could actually stand there and wait for the kettle to boil?… Shit no, we ran out of milk and I didn’t get anymore because there’s a major traffic detour near the local shop and I’d already had several screaming child/why the hell is this light still red, moments today…..

Dishwasher was beeping again

So next I turned on the TV….. Because I’m always saying how I dont get to just browse the channels anymore….. There is some history documentary paused on the screen…. Clearly Mr man flu found his glasses, and the remote, and managed a spot of ‘him time’ despite dying earlier!!

As it turned out. There is nothing on TV at 10pm, or rather if you don’t actually watch TV, you don’t even know what half the programmes are anymore…. Celebrity big brother live eviction… Gosh! Is that still going?

Ah ha! Planner, I figured there had to be something recorded for me…. Or not, flicking through I was rather resentful to see several documentaries with VIEWED next to them….. A couple of films left over from Christmas and no doctor who!!!! I remember now. I deleted two series worth a few months back, to make room for peppa pig. Bing and horrible histories…. Even the sky planner doesn’t recognise ‘me time’.

Of course I’m too refined for TV… Ah hem… I wondered (briefly) how far into big brother the series was?! But No! I decided to try a book!!

Despite my social media profiles and my cv professing a love of reading I’m so ashamed that I’ve not read a novel in over a year (ahem 2 years)!! I have however, continued to collect them, some classics (because the leather covers looks cute), a truck load of Jodi Picout and the Hunger Games…. I really should read more! but who knows when I’ll get to finish it? …..next I wondered, where are my glasses??? I trooped upstairs and quietly felt around the bedroom daring not to wake anyone up. They are next to my husband’s (glasses that is, not plural husbands, I only have the one) on the bedside table, he must have found them in the search for his own, which also means he went into my office, because I was pretty sure in fact that is where I had them last.

Oh dear god! No, it’s a crazy mess In there, I’m so ashamed, I keep the door closed for a reason,

Sure enough I discovered that he’s been in there, looking for something…. Oh his research books… He had to move the step ladder, and climb the mountain of laundry but, somehow, in his ‘flu’ he found the text book and I bet he bloody had time to read it too?

Crash! There goes the ladder, there goes the baby… Mum mum mum…. There goes the me time!!

So here I am, sat in bed, with the baby on one side and the (one) drooling husband on the other…. On the bright side, I have work tomorrow morning….. That’ll do for me time… I’ll just try and remember to take a hair band in this time!

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Frozen Party

so last year, when on mat leave, I had time to kill. With big girl H turning 9 I knew it was prob the last princess party I would host. (Sob) I went all out planning for the big day. Here are some snaps and ideas if you’re thinking of hosting one for your little Anna or Elsa! 

   
  
    
  

    
    
  

    
    
    
   

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Making a Comeback

Turns out I’m not such a slummy mummy! I know! those of you who have seen me answer the door in just my pjs and odd socks with a baby slung on my hip may find it hard to believe, but, 9 months of maternity leave and a er…… Break from blogging opened my eyes a little.
Turns out I’m just a perfectionist who takes on too much. 

I’d have felt a fraud if I’d continued blogging in this time, great excuse right! But it’s true. Following nergs birth I actually turned into Martha fikkin stewart!!

Septembers a good time to be born… Oh I’m not talking about the academic school year, although, as a late August baby I know this will be advantageous to him, but actually, it means mummy is work free for the most important milestones…… I’m talking about Halloween, Christmas and Easter. Bonding time with baby is good too

I spent the first few months alternating between boobing baking, cleaning, and box sets. All those buffy and Dawsons creek episodes that had built up over the years, were now within my grasp, and, when more quiet time was needed, I would browse Pinterest for my next project, 

Now I’m back to work…. Or have been since August. I miss those moments. But surprisingly I wonder if I’m happier slummy?! I’m still trying to create the Pinterest image but I think my husband likes me more now. 

I kept an immaculate (and I mean immaculate) home, the children were fed home cooked concoctions and there was time for crafts without neglecting the clean up afterwards. But I was a bit like a broken record…. I’m not sure he could not have coped with anymore conversations on which colour scheme to do this or that occasion…. Also it all seems a bit shallow now, my days marked only by the next event coming up… I feel sure I was turning into my mother in law… Who writes ‘start packing’ on the calendar a week before going on holiday. Coupled with the fact that the spouse spent the first 6 months on the sofa bed while I co slept, demand fed and drank coffee in the king size, I began to see how couples grow apart. 

We hear all the time that you should have your own identity as a couple but being a homemaker turned me into a subservient little wife. I loved it in a way, being needed by my family, everything was done, clothes washed, beds made, toilets frikkin sparkling…. A clear surrounding does improve your mood. But then what? My whole existence and sense of pride, was based upon being needed and doing things for others… Omg!! I’m selfish if I’m saying that’s not enough right?

What about the kids? Surely it was better for them, me not rushing about grabbing a homework book with one hand and the laptop in the other? answering questions on phonics while writing about parenting that I’m not actually doing. I’m not sure, but I’m pretty certain I began living through them, in manner of scary stage parent. The homemade costumes, the non parenting with biscuits… They prob missed the iPad apps and dreaded the lets browse Tesco again for craft supplies… Lets bake another lasagne from scratch when what they really want is fish fingers. Less complicated meals without the expectation of gratitude at the bottom of the plate. My eldest certainly drew the line when I mentioned marching up to the school to retrieve the worn once PE kit…. Just to give me something to wash, no questions about what this is in her pocket….. She can collect as many stones as she likes now because I’ve not turfed out her Parker for at least three months.

What’s funny is no one was anymore grateful than they are now I’m back to my slummy ways. I feel crappy that I can’t do all I did then, but actually I think my other half will chose to tackle the laundry basket over listing to the drone of my voice as I describe in detail again, how I discovered an awesome new stain remover for real nappies. I think he’d rather wear odd socks than hear how I spent the last two days pairing up 3 years worth of uncoupled ones. 

Dont get me wrong, not all SAHM are like this at all!! But I’m obsessive, a perfectionist… Better I be a slightly grumpy one throwing my being into a million projects and incomplete tasks, than a neurotic one throwing herself  into two or three…. Im not sure, I’ll have to ask hubby which ‘me’ he prefers when he comes home… To our messy house, with a 17month old at the breast and no dinner ready… Hey, today I cleared my work email inbox and put the clean but un ironed washing on the stairs go me!!! 

Oh and I had no time to upload images this time so here’s a picture from peppa pig! We have reconnected with the show over the last four months, fab babysitter!!