The doctor signed me off work for a few days because of my eye issues… Although they’re feeling much better I can’t return to work until Friday, this means today, I had home childcare (our wonderful mothers help) and three whole hours to myself (unless interrupted by the boob monster). So what did I do??? Clean, tidy? Change the bed sheets (it’s been too long to reveal) don’t be silly! I moved onto my latest project, Roos birthday party invites….
I’m actually a bit worried, because I don’t think this behaviour is normal! I forgot to take out dinner from the freezer and I’m always complaining my house isn’t the Pinterest image of perfection it was when on mat leave… But I really don’t understand how it can be done? How can I make beautiful craft items and have a tidy home??? And raise the children to be productive members of society, not google eyed or obese, continually poking each other for attention… How can I work, support my husband’s career, have any social life (yeh that one is flexible). Cook meals from scratch, spend my weekends at houses and gardens, as well as making the children’s clothes out of old Curtains (like Maria von trapp)…. Plan educational trips, pack homemade sandwiches, remember the wet wipes, sensible shoes…. Do my make up to hide the acne, wear nice clothes, have time to buy nice clothes, have time to workout so said nice clothes aren’t wasted on a frumpy frame….. IT CANT BE DONE… JUGGLED BALLS ALL ON THE FLOOR
Now, it’s true, no one can achieve all these things, and I guess it really shouldn’t matter, we just pick the most important right?… That’s why my social life is pretty much down to zero… I’m sorry all the friends who ask me out… Oh you’re not reading this, you’re enjoying cocktails in the city… I could cry… Especially when I think that I used to be a social butterfly… Those who know me now will find that v v hard to believe.. Those who knew me 10 years ago will find it laughable that I stay in!
So I chose the children first. That’s a given…. Having had H at 19 I didn’t always do this, I’m ashamed to say… I continued my education and worked, I also partied a lot… Now I realise the importance of child led… I’m ashamed of myself, but also know that reflection is more important that regret, so now, yes my three children are top priority… Their emotional wellbeing is paramount. Having a mum who is present is more important than a tidy home and crafts any crafts… (Although I did have them crushing oats with me to make sand yesterday for the invites…. (Just wait until you see them) But I also know it’s Impossible to put three children first when they have such different personalities and needs it’s more juggling…. Oh jeez there’s too many balls In the air… And under the sofa and flying around the room…. But I try.
So my relationship comes next, my husband is my best friend, cos let’s face it, I’m not socialising with anyone else! so it’s paramount we grow together.. Also because priority one is kinda pointless if we are at each other’s throats…. Although it’s not just about that is it? I mean there are plenty of miserable couple who argue less than us… It took a good few years to reassure my husband that one big argument every six months was actually pretty good… Not the sign of the end… He does all he can to shy away from conflict and I used to be more firery… I’ve learnt to be calm and talk about things, he’s learnt to own his emotions and talk about things…. So we are on par now…. I’ve not thrown anything at him in years and he’s not given me the silent treatment since he had a face full of cold beans.. So we are good! Priority set I’d say. Plus we are heading in the same direction… With similar ideas and goals…. Although the fourth and fifth child are up for debate..
Next is work, a necessity, both mine and Scott’s if we are to keep a roof over our heads, kids fed…you know the drill. My husband is a lecturer myself a web editor! when I started this blog, working was a choice but circumstances changed around nergs birth, hence the months of silence. I’m a freelance writer too, I currently have a five article a month contract which enables me a small creative outlet, though not as much as I would like, hence the crafts…. Work, though third, has a direct impact on priority one and two, so is arguably just as frikkin Important.
Fourth priority is crafts, for the above reason, it may be way down on the list to some, but it’s something I take pride in, something that empowers me, gives me a sense of self…. When executed correctly (not today) it reminds me who I am,aside from mother. wife, employee.
Five has to be the house, and general household chorage…. Both husband and myself need things to be tidy to feel good about ourselves, perhaps him more than I. I feel happier if the home is looking nice, perhaps it’s because it’s an outward sign the other priorities are in shape, if I’ve made it as far as the washing then I’ve accomplished one two three and four! Go me…
At some point I also have to fit in toddler group which is vital for friendships, coffee and sanity…..
So today, I loved my children, put them first, did jigsaws, zoo in a tin…mums and dads and listened to the latest big girl book review….but also I had that three hour break from being just mum (even if I’m always boob). I still quite like my husband. I messed up my crafts…. Having spent hours on the invites only for big girl h to point out I’d put the wrong phone number on them….. Sob… I’ve not done any housework and written this post in fifteen min slots… Husband however, gave me a huge hug while laughing at my craft error and suggested we order a takeaway tonight… I guess priority six (outwards appearance) has fallen by the weigh side for a bit then… Also I didn’t work today, so god knows what the outcome would be if that was squeezed in too… I’d prob be a shaking mess in the corner…
The wrong digit invites look fab though… (I’ll show you if I ever have time to sit and photograph them from above with a crate, perfect lighting and added filters….)
Oh fuck, it’s world book day tomorrow!!!