I don’t care how so-and-so pop factor lost their baby weight, I don’t ‘like’ that your baby is 7 seconds old and you’re ‘#back into size 8’s woo hoo!’ Nope, My baby is nine months im still in my maternity get up. I’ve not been ‘back in my size 8’s’ since I was 8…….
Wanna feel better about those extra lbs?
Here are 10 ‘Slummy Mummy’ non-diet tips
- Bake (or buy) some muffins of your own and feed them to the other half: Growing together is very important in relationships
- Feed them also to your friends….. Do you see where I’m going with this one??
- Wear bright Florals (that way everyone will remember you as the lady in the silly dress)
- Wear black (no one will comment on your weight, you’re clearly grieving)
- Tell everyone you’re a slimming world champion…. You used to be 45 stone
- Google pictures of women who ARE 45 stone (don’t you feel better now)
- Draw funny faces on your belly to entertain the kids ‘It’s the jelly monster’
- Throw out the full length mirror: You’ll look so much smaller in a compact from 10 metres away
- Wear a step-o-metre: those bad boys pick up every gesture…. One round of ‘if you’re happy and you know it’ and you’ll have run a marathon
- Put a picture of you in labour on the fridge: that way every time you reach for a snack you can think ‘I bloody well deserve this’